We have been trying to sell our house. To sell in order to move on. We thought and were told it wouldn’t take long. “Three weeks, no problem!” Haha!! Nine months on, a change of estate agent, and we are still trying. It isn’t because no one wants to buy our house, they do. Truly they do. But the market is slow. The house, of the people who like ours, won’t sell. The house of the people who really like ours, sells and then the reason for moving town, village falls through. The house of the people who were thought to be cash buyers aren’t actually in a position to proceed. In fact we have two people who are trying desperately to sell their houses, and we have two people, different people returning for second viewings this week. But it is a slow process. Frustrating for us. Frustrating for them. The interest is there and we wait. It is all in God’s timing.
God’s timing is always true and perfect. His plan for us, is in His understanding, and not ours. We can push and push to try and speed things up. Or, we can go with the flow at a sedate pace.
I love the sea. That flowing, in and out. Methodical. Rhythmical. Sometimes gentle . Sometimes quick and rough. But always constant. I have been to Israel five times now. Each time landing at Tel Aviv. Spending a couple of nights before moving on. The Med is always there gently ebbing to and fro.
I’ve taken photos of it umpteen times. Morning. Dusk. Evening. Always there. Sun touched. Glistening. But this time – April 2019, it was there in a different guise. Angry. Dark. Stamping it’s foot! Shouting for all the world to hear. But still beautiful. Still constant. Still ebbing. To and fro.
Gradually calming. Slowing. Settling. Taking it’s time.
Going to Israel was a big thing for me this time. I went on my own. Well not quite on my own, with people who were friends and some who became friends. But I went without Mr A. He stayed at home. All on his own for most of it. Me in my small corner. Him in his. Not together. A first. A first in 37 years. It was a new beginning for me. Stepping out in faith onto the next season. Into the next season. A new beginning that also had to say a complete goodbye to the old season. That takes time. This weekend, three months later, I finally closed the old chapter. I dealt with all the anger. All the frustration. All the foot stamping. Bit by bit over the weekend. Whether like the sea I was still ‘beautiful’ in all that emotion, I don’t know. Probably not. But it had to be done. It had to be completed. All in God’s timing. Ebbing and flowing. Calming. Gentle. Flat. Still.
One of the pictures that I have drawn in my Bible is a verse from 1 Peter 5. I drew it a year ago. Carefully drawing and forming each letter. Savouring every curve, stick and word. Letting each word sink in and holding on to it tightly. Each word squeezed. Each phrase gathered. Locked away. His Word for us. His Word to guide and to help. His Word.
“Now the God of all Grace, who called you to His eternal glory in CHRIST JESUS, will personally restore. establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little.” v10
It is a prayer written by Peter at the end of his letter. It is a prayer that I have taken great comfort from during my ‘iffy’ time. To know that He is personally restoring, strengthening and supporting me was all I needed to know at the time. But it is only half of the prayer. I ignored the rest. I just didn’t see it. He had to show me again. And again. Until I opened my eyes wide.
“The dominion belongs to Him forever. Amen.”
Gradually I have come to accept that His timing and plans are not perhaps the same as mine. The same as mine were. Gradually my thinking has turned the corner. I’ve let go of the words that I had held too tightly. Let go of the emotion. Allowed those words to breathe. To soak up Him again. My picture in my Bible now has the last line added. The ending to the prayer. His dominion. The plan He has for me. The plan that He has carefully mapped out for me belongs to Him forever. I’m not saying I’ll always remember that fact. I know there will be times when I will get impatient. Will ask ‘Why?’ But on the whole I hope I will remember and come back to that constant ebbing.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your path straight.” Proverbs 3;5.
And as I pause to think at the start of this new season, I wonder what His plans will look like? What things I will drop because they are, were, my plans? How my path will become straight and clear? The flatness that I feel at the moment is a good thing. It is the start of being content in Him. A slower pace of life. A gentler walk. A rest. Remind me when I start jumping, when I start planning, because our house has sold!!!! Remind me, it’s all in His timing!!!
Leaves 